Man needs a maid

There’s a shadow running through my days
Like a beggar goin’ from door to door

~Neil Young, Man Needs a Maid

It’s so sad! Poor Man just can’t seem to find a lady friend. His tiny heart must be broken. And it’s probably embarrassing for him, especially with his nemesis and stepbrother Jimin watching all of this.

It’s that time of year on the Island when finding an available plumber is almost impossible because all the snowbirds have returned from long winters away and, getting a jump on summer, are opening their houses back up.

There is a similar run on reliable female Piping Plovers right now. All the experienced males have returned to Barnegat Light and paired up. They are already working on their nests and laying eggs.

All the experienced males, that is, except for one: poor little Man. Despite his best efforts, man has yet to find a lady friend, and available females are rapidly growing scarce to non-existent.

The poor little guy is repeatedly flying wildly up and down the beaches of Barnegat Light, singing the sweet, piping song for which their kind is named and sounding more desperate by the day.

Yet his perseverance is admirable, and thankfully, there’s still time. The second wave of ‘B Team’ plovers (younger, less experienced birds) is still passing through. But these young birds are only just discovering that their life’s purpose is to lay eggs. Man could have a rough season with an unserious, non-sensible young lady.

It’s hard to make that change
When life and love turns strange

Neil Young, Man Needs a Maid

Man is a sweet little guy who just seems to be unlucky. While his other siblings and step siblings, who were also hatched in Plover Park, like Suga, Jimin, Kookie, and others, have become superstars, Man has struggled to transition to adulthood. He did fledge a few chicks in 2022 or 2023, but he’s had more nests eaten by foxes and crows than he has hatched chicks. Last summer, it was especially sad for him when all four chicks and Man’s mate vanished without a trace just a day after someone saw them hatching.

So, if you know any sweet female plovers looking for a serious relationship or even a summer fling, leave a comment. Man is a strong provider, a loyal companion, and an honest little bird. He doesn’t have the most significant habitat in the world right now, but the right mate could change all that very quickly! Let’s help Man find his happy ending.

Man has become so desperate that he even took out a personal ad. I got out my red Sharpie to make some edits for him. For example, why didn’t he phrase ‘You like’ as a question, and why did he end it with ‘Explode?’ What does that even mean? It was a bit of a mess, but it was so adorable. All I could do with my red Sharpie was circle it.

With a big, red heart.