If we want to grow our portfolio of precious wild animals in New Jersey, or anywhere for that matter, we need to make the right investments. Fortunately there is no need to get too fancy or too complicated with this. The strategy is really quite simple: invest heavily in badass ladies.
It’s true. It’s backed up by science. In a recent study published in The Journal of Raptor Research, it was shown how hawks literally diversify, balance, and tweak the sex ratio of their portfolios in response to market conditions. If things are booming, they produce more badass ladies. Females are more expensive investments, requiring more resources, but have much bigger payoffs for the overall growth of the population.
Males on the other hand, sorry to say, are cheap, and not quite as useful in growing populations. So if times are tight, they cut back, and invest more in males.
This is true for lots of different species of animals, and probably true for peregrine too.
The recent tale of The Two Year Olds and The Two Year Olds II: The Three Year Olds told the very true story of the badass lady we are now betting our entire portfolio on: Princess Buttercup.
She is all we have left in Ocean County, making up 100% of our portfolio. She is one of only two badass lady peregrines surviving along all of coastal New Jersey in the aftermath of the devastating bird flu. So when it became clear that she and her cheap (sorry bro, respect the research!) male mate Westley had hatched three chicks this year, it was critical that we cross their moat, storm their tower, breach their castle, and have a look at how they are managing their investments. Because their success or failure will impact our future too.
What we found were two of the sweetest, though cheapest, male peregrine you could hope to meet, and the biggest, baddest, probably most expensive female you could ever imagine. While you may think, using the research, that it might be better to see Princess Buttercup and Westley invest more heavily in females, with maybe two or three, overall, it is a pretty savvy and well balanced portfolio for this young pair.
Remember, Princess Buttercup is such a badass lady that she managed to take over the most important, beautiful, and historic nesting site on the coast. And she’s held it for three years now. So while she is heavily concentrated in her one, badass, lady baby, she could wind up beating the market if she manages to fledge a little mini-me version of herself!
I really got the sense watching this badass little lady baby that the stakes are raised, and we are looking at a new, beautiful bull market in the falcon sector.
And now we know the secret to why New Jersey, despite being one of the most densely populated states in America, has so many thriving wild spaces and such well-cared-for endangered species.
It’s because we’ve invested so heavily in our badass ladies. New Jersey Fish & Wildlife’s portfolio of talent is absolutely full of badass ladies. And, apparently, so are our peregrine Igloos (TM)
We are so blessed, people. We’ve made great investments, so can look forward to a very bright future.
Badass!
Say something kind